i wish i could scream

the monster inside me, locked up and screaming

the thing i hate about being forced to wake up early in the morning is waking up with my stomach hurting like heck...its both annoying and painful...and the most uncomfortable feeling...EVER...i couldn't sleep well last night...probably because i was sleeping on the floor which was only cover with a thick blanket...

so lets just say i didn't just woke up with a stomach ache but also depression and back pain -__- the cold water of the shower snapped me out of Lala land but now im just sleepy again..b'cause i have nothing to do...and there is another problem...i just dont know WTF that people want from me...

if i read, i get yelled at. if i sit around and post this, i get yelled at, when i try to help i get yelled at, and when i do nothing at all i get yelled at...now..tell me who the hell in this god-awful world isn't annoyed by that fact? if you aren't annoyed then something's wrong with you...this is what happens when i wake up too early and have less sleep last night...i get GRUMPY...and like the title stated...i just wish i could scream...but of course...i just never did that...as in, scream my heart out...sigh....

or maybe its just mood swings...i honestly don't know...well, like i said before..my emotions doesn't matter to them so why would it matter to me right? anyways...i was watching the wushu tournament for the SEA games...to be honest its interesting even if its soft...i mean...watching those athletes body moving soo fluid like is just amazing...

if only i could just learn a bit...heck i wish i could learn every single martial there is out there...oh well...dreams are meant to be shattered...okok...i really don't mean to sound emo...i truelly don't want to be emo...for hero's sake...but..you know...i can't always control my annoyance and anger much nowadays...

honestly though im just a little lonely...none of the people here understand me let alone just leave me the heck alone when i just dont want to talk about the FREAKING PMR RESULTS! if i can i just want to damn that exam to the deepest pits of hell...sigh...if only if i could make myself look in the mirror and feel better instead of looking at a stranger...oh well...

i guess i should stop this ranting on my own emotion problems...i should let it go...for hero...i have too...he trust that i can so i guess i should trust myself that i could...talk about my life's drama...-_- i'm going to disappear now... PEACE OUT!