whats worst?

the middle one is me...-__-

i felt like i wanted to kill myself rather than lived through this BORING day..this is mauly why i hated holidays...its BORING...i dont know how many times i could say boring..but heck today was boring XD...anyways...i just got back from gran's house...not feeling that hyped either...mom and i had those "sessions" in the car where she tells me about how she's still sad about Dad being a total jerk...

and i just listened and listened as i've always had and answered and gave statements like i always did...times like those i just wondered when is she going to listens to me...whatever it is...im not sure if i want to be emo..though i already am...heesh...im always emo..when the hell was i wasnt? *thinking* ok mabe there is moments when im happy go lucky but still

anyways, mom said i can go for guitar lessons just to spen my unspended-on-something-usefull time...though she asked me to tell dad...hmm...that could actually be a problem...i mean..he never thinks of anyone except himself (hey at least i care about people. if i hadn't i wouldn't even fight to stay ok everynight for hero's sake)...i probably would persuade him as fast as i could...b'cause i seriously cant stand the boredom anymore...

plus, i get to finish a song...only the melody seem soo lame...and im building up my confidence by just doing things without being emberrased...like singing outside for instance...or, my latest plan, do a guitar tutorial on either youtube or fb...but i guess i'll be starting on FB first being i go to the next giant step...

i know this is getting boring but the thing is...im just making myself a purpose to not to watch the football game...why? coz i dont want to have a heart attack at my young age...they're playing horribly...-__-...i hope i can go over to Zai's house this week...i mean...i already told her that she could come over this weekend...and we sooo need to catch up...i guess i'll stop here for now...my daily life its still going on... PEACE OUT!