Never felt true happiness before....

hey guys....yes its true..i've never felt true happiness before....my life is a mess and theres alot of missery in it....i hate my life..but love it in the same time...i never knew how much i hate my family now.....i hate them...i hate them all..i realy feel like i want to run away...to go somewhere that nobody can find me...somewhere thats cool...and my kind of place....unfortunately...there's abslutely none....there is no where for me to go....no where to saty either....i wish that i have a real family....the family that cares...a family that understands each other...not like my family now....i HATE THEM SOO MUCH!!! i want to live y own life...full of wht i want to do and doing everything with my own choices...it'll feel good when nobody oders me around...the thing is i cant...i dont have the power....i dont have anything yet...sigh...i cant belive i have a miserable life....i guess its just fate....maybe im just chosen to endure it....and i dont think i can....i just need somebody to care about...somebody to care about me...and i got one...i got a person that carees about me....protects me...,and im trying to return the same thing to her....she's like my sister....my favourite sister....and i wont mention who it is....but...if anybody who reads this....maybe certain somebody will know who im talking about....